|+Tazein Mirza Said|
The emptiness that feels overwhelming, the bottomless agony of despair are immediate thoughts that emotionally describe the insecurities of fear and turbulence.
In reading the book Dying to be Me by +Anita Moorjani http://www.amazon.com/Dying-Be-Me-Journey-Healing/dp/1401937519, the most provoking theme is that death is indescribably timeless and limitless. The most cathartic revelation of her near death experience is the welcome assurance, that in the death experience there is absolute peaceful bliss, rather than drowning fears.
Using the Anita Moorjani story as a contradictory reference there is a new prism to the dimension of fear for thought review.
When confronted with the fangs of fear, we become emotionally psychologically and physically paralyzed. It is crippling, it is destructive and we feel helpless. This state of mental and emotional torment and imprisonment is as if there is no release or escape and we are trapped in the bondage of thought and shackled inertia.
The fear and turbulence that we are constantly striving to overcome are uncomfortably habitual. They are there at all times and are always feeding in our most vulnerable and weakest moments. As we encounter situations which ignite fear, such as the fear of dying, the fear of loss, the fear that is ever present in our daily struggles, the need for the extraordinary is most desired. The trouble is however, that the onset of fear, and the turbulence in its wake, create alarming despair and hopelessness. The state of despair is despotic and ruthless. The energy of fatedness is not in any state of mind to enjoy the extraordinary.
For example the need for money when the reality of bills is overwhelming and circumstance, situation, lack of, relation issues, sickness, ( .. we can fill in our very own blanks in this script) , the stranglehold of fear creeps up and we begin to acknowledge our phobias and disappointments. When there are no answers that can actualize immediate and needed results to a despairing situation, fear wraps its groping arms around our withering shells. Fear is not an abstract and is as potent and as the poison of a serpent’s sting.
Because fear and turbulence are constant…they surface without invitation and wreak unwelcome havoc on the sentiment of being. The opportunity to court our fears, to find an elixir of comfort, to marry the experience of anxiety with the sensation of awareness is the internal opposing discourse of mind and matter.
Is it therefore logical, that we have the wherewithal to resist the fear that dwells and already inhabits the dimensions of our spirit and mind? I admit, it is too difficult a theme that can be articulated by a “me” sermon . My thoughts are shaped by my experience. So are those of each and everyone else. My attempt to discuss fear and turbulence is a mere shadow of the proportional gravity of this topic. I do not presume to know methodologies and philosophies and theologies that are cures for any of us ailed by the symptoms of fear.
Here is the much of the little that I can say. Although the fears that are lurking in the many shadows of my life show up and cause me deliberate disorientation and insolent distress, they also cause me to get into survival mode. They cause me to become purpose filled and purpose driven. In the throes of the opportunistic meltdown moments I irrationally seek reasoning and interior growth. With each blow of despondency, my spirit responds with a rationale that defies circumstance. I find the sorrow in my weakness to be the bounty in my resolve. My answers are never immediate to my needs. But there is one thing that fear will never capture, and it is my history. I look back, and in spite of, the unseemly odds, I have not become captive to fear.
In synopsis, my intimate experience of spiritual kinship with the Christ narrative is scriptured by the Apostle Matthew, Chapter 4 verse 1-11 where the psychosis of fear is provokingly established. While in a place of destitution and hunger fear suggests one is incompetent. Fear suggests that succumbing to the perils of brokenness will alleviate suffering. Fear feasts on the fragility of the mind, and begs to inhabit and claim dominance of the will to be strong, at our weakest.
Fear and turbulence are the precursors to unborn potential and possibilities. Sometimes in the snatch of disquiet, the imagination is propelled and we birth and crystallize the unfathomable. And fear becomes a welcome comrade.